Monday, July 4, 2011

Called home but missed so much

I have been at the computer for several weeks and just can not get my mind working-
Marilyn Jean Perkins-Lord, taken by her father in heaven 10.01 in a unfamiliar place while en route to fulfill a dream she had been holding dear to her for over 10 years.
a class 4 Registered Nurse, she had been looking into the availability of a supervisor position in the maternity 
department . The  on going unsuccessful sale of our home in Florida was holding up the fulfilment of this dream.  Almost without notice everything began to come together-a buyer for the home with closing date of Feb 24th. a few days later a e-mail from Albany Medical Center with a notice she was hired to be in Albany on April 7th for interview and test, to start work on the 14th. What a break, were she was working at Health Park in Ft. Myers, Fl. they delivered about 4,000 babies, at Albany they delivered about 3,000 , she would be doing the same work she enjoyed and the work load would be a bit less.  It seemed the packing of all of our "stuff" occupied all of our time , but at last everything we had, cloths, furniture, books and stuff was in a moving van and we started for New York. Sometimes Lynn would get these "feelings" that something was going to happen, my being 27 years older we thought it would be me. She got a cell phone for me and equipped my car with voice activated device that we could communicate since we each drove a car. There was no great hurry , she led the way, with the three cats in her car we had to stop every hour or two, and had to quit driving early each day. We had planned to meet our daughter Jenny in Delaware but we arrived several hours earlier, to save her from such a long trip we called to arranged to meet her nearer New York. After driving  past Philadelphia we decided to stop at next motel, this was Trenton, N.J. by now Lynn had to use a rest room and get directions, stopping at a 7-11, she was turned down for a rest room, but did get directions, upon leaving she noticed a donut shop across the street , she suggested I feed the cats and she would cross the street and be right back. Almost immediately there was a horrible noise and she was struck down by a small black sports car. this was about 6.32 in the evening, I knelt down on the blood soaked pavement and tried to call out to her, she was not conscious and never was,  she finally left this mortal life. 10.01
The bible tells us we will never have to bear a load more than we are capable of.  In order for me to understand why her life had to end at this time when it appears she was so happy-the lord must know that she was carrying all she could handle, a daughter who had not spoken to her for 13 years, had written her only a week earlier to tell her what a horrible mother she was,  a son who moved away and had not spoken for 7 years and only recently invited her to visit him and yelled and screamed so loud that she had to leave and stay in hotel before returning home, plus a sister who had not spoken to her since Xmas. when she was  confronted for using Lynn's name to obtain credit, and a mother who had not spoken to her since Xmas.  but she had accepted this, with the belief that coming home would fix everything .

All day long we were talking back and forth kidding and laughing about our fate, homeless, unemployed, only the cloths on our back, and three screaming cats--with a new day coming when all these problems would be taken care of and the family brought back together. 
All Lynn ever wanted during the 30 years we were together was to have a close family, she missed the grandchildren-in part she made it up by doing for her patients and nurse companions at Health Park, in Fort Myers, Fl. Since the accident hundreds of cards have been arriving from the mothers she helped during their delivery. We seldom went to a store that someone did not come up to us and thank her for the little extra things she did to make there delivery a happy one.

I miss her so very much, on the morning of March 3, we loaded up the cats and Lynn came back to my car and put her arm around me and said "please stay awake, be careful we are almost home"
Luv you babe The nights are very long its been several months and I am still waking up shortly after midnight
wide awake and my mind racing over all the events, I just do not understand why.
we were so very close,we were both Mormons, and had been sealed together in the Orlando Temple, so we will be together someday.
 Without our daughter Jennifer , you know her as "distressingdelilah" I do not know how I could have made it, she was at my side shortly after the accident and has been with me every day since then. Jenny is so much like her mother, she just knows what to say or do and always seems to call or knock on the door when I am feeling bad.
 It is still very hard to understand why she was taken--

2 comments:

ROC said...

Dear Brother,

I was doing some genealogy work yesterday and came across your research on Abraham Martin. I saw your blog today. I am very sorry about the loss of your wife and companion. I'm sorry that it has been so painful, that means you loved her. I worked through grief using the LDS Addiction and Recovery program. It's all about the Atonement, not just about sin. I was very ill and used it to find hope during a difficult time. The Atonement brings healing and peace, especially when nothing in this world will bring peace. Best wishes to you. A sister in the Gospel.

Rosebud Collection said...

Oh my dear friend..I wrote Jen when I read her blog one day..I thought I read it wrong. There is nothing a person can say at a time like this..but know I am praying for all of you.
Glad you are near Jen, she is a wonderful person..
Take Care..Carolyn